I had the most serendipitous day and night yesterday. I don't know if it was the supermoon that I couldn't see because of the pouring rain or just my open heart to whatever the universe had to offer me, but it was fan-freakin-tastic. It started with a lazy morning sipping coffee on the veranda (well, my tiny, cantilevered deck) with my thought-provoking significant other. The kids bounced around and laughed and bugged us and I actually teared up when the gratitude for my life boiled over - wow! What had I ever done to deserve this kind of bliss? But then it hit me, oh-hell-to-the-NO! I've worked my ass off to get where I am, in more ways than one.
And as my dear friend, Bridget, told me in a facebook post, I never gave up. And I will never give up. Riding on that emotional thermal, I took off for our town's street festival, where I just wandered about with my family, eating hot dogs and drinking lemonade. Doesn't sound all that exciting, but when your barriers are thin, life is a kaleidoscope. The smell of grilling chicken kabbobs, the muggy Virginia spring afternoon, the church group singing and clapping their hearts out, the Elvis impersonator, the moon-bounce. Nice.
After that, my kids went to a baseball game with some friends and my dear, sweat husband took his Saturday afternoon nap and left me, ecstatic, in front of the computer to work on my latest work-in-progress. I have my sweaty moments when I wonder who the hell I think I am, writing this book. Who's gonna buy it? Do I really think I've got the instincts or the talent? But, no, we smack the self-critic in the back of the head and toss him out the window. He gets no face time. Period. And you know what? The doubts don't matter at all, because this is what I was born to do, no question.
While I worked on rewriting a couple chapters I suddenly tapped into the connection and it oozed out of me, straight from the gut. Ever wonder what "channeling" would be like? This is it. I'm not writing; something is speaking through my tapping fingers. I got all choked up about the revelation of my leading lady and the raw truth of who we all are. We are sparks of the Divine and we are meant to live out-loud, not some small, trembling life of "quiet desperation". Thpppttt!!! to that.
Then,(oh, there's more), the family booked it for a late dinner at the Brightwood General Store. It was unusually quiet for a Saturday night and I got to talk to the owner. As we chatted over the counter I noticed a couple copies of a book laying there and picked one up. I'm waiting on permission from the author to post about it here, but suffice it to say, it is on my nightstand as I type. The more I bantered with the owner, the more I felt that inevitable turning of the wheel (thank you, Stephen King). This was where I was supposed to be and who I was supposed to be talking with and what I was supposed be doing.
I walked away with a new character idea, a solution to a personality development conundrum for another character, and a great local tie-in for my book series. I was doing the happy dance in the car all the way home to Goldfish's Fort Knox. The night ended with hubby sharing some amazing videos that rocked my soul - and now I am hooked on Skrillex, btw. I think the music and images in those videos speak to embracing your life, whatever it is and making it awesome, wonderful, fantastic, amazing.
If you are unhappy, feel it. Then work to get yourself where you want to be. If you are surrounded by morons and assholes, look to yourself. Are you where you need to be? Do you even know what will make your heart sing? And if you're already grooving to your own tune, I'm happy for you, man!
Need some inspiration? Check out one of the videos my dear husband shared with me. The music is Breakin' a Sweat by Skrillex. Live your life. Break a sweat. Nobody else can do it for you.