Saturday, October 01, 2016

How to Ignite Your Next Romance

Last year, my husband and kids accompanied me to the 2015 Indie Bookfest in Orlando, Florida. My husband snagged himself a pair of author Tawdra Kandle's sunglasses, which have Ignite Your Next Romance printed on one side.

He has proudly worn them all over the world, literally. Here he is in Copenhagen a couple weeks

Those sunglasses have been a reminder to me every time he wears them that it's not just his job to keep the romance going in our relationship; it's mine too.

Recently I watched the Big Bang Theory episode where Penny tries to do something romantic for Leonard that doesn't involve sex.  She was flummoxed, so she asks Raj for help. After all his ideas are rejected, Raj mentions that she probably hasn't had to do anything romantic because she's a pretty girl and guys fall over themselves for her.

Then Penny says she has a hard time feeling bad about that.

I know that was meant to be funny, but I actually found it kind of sad. Is that the romance narrative in our society? Men woo women with romantic gestures while women wait around to be woo-ed? The proverbial princess trapped in the tower waiting for her knight in shining armor to set her heart on fire?


Makes us women seem completely powerless to create our own romance unless of course, we fit the social beauty norm. And how many of us do? This story has a very sad ending, if you ask me.

And then I found and watched the Valentine episode where Leonard is the Romance Ninja, but Penny poops all over their romantic evening by being completely self-absorbed.

Again, ick.

So then I asked myself, am I as bad as Penny? Do I wait around for romantic gestures from my husband? Do I rely solely on sex as my romantic gesture? What AM I doing in the romance department? How am I keeping the romance alive in my marriage? The answer is I'm not sure.


So here's my first stab at it: every morning I'm going to ask myself, "What can I do to make my husband's day today?"

I don't know where this is going to lead (I just stopped typing to stare at the wall and try to think of something), but I have high hopes.

What do you do to keep the romance fresh in your relationship? Inquiring minds want to know...because we need ideas.


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